Since I've become a mom, I feel like I don't enjoy Mother's Day as much as I wish I could. I find myself squeezing time in my busy schedule to shop for my mom and mother-in-law. I find that on actual Mother's Day, my family divides the 16 or so waking hours to spend quality time between my mom, my mother-in-law, and myself.
A few times, we've tried to celebrate Mothers Day Eve for my mom and my mother-in-law, so I could enjoy Mother's Day for myself. But then I give myself a guilt trip for not spending actual Mother's Day with my mom.
This year I decided to do something for me. A few months ago, a Wanderlust event came across my Facebook feed. I was in awe of the pictures of an ocean of people doing yoga together and imagined what a wonderful experience it could be. So I shared the event on Facebook, in hopes some of my friends or family would want to join me. I waited a few weeks, no interest. I shared the event again, after another week or so, no response.
I was a little hesitant to buy my Wanderlust ticket since I didn't really want to go alone, especially since it was on Mother's Day. The pictures of happy smiling faces of girlfriends enjoying Wanderlust together made me feel like a bit of a loser for going alone. But I bought my ticket anyways. I convinced myself it was OK to go alone. I decided to spend my Mother's Day enjoying me, with me!
After a few weeks, a few of my cousins decided to attend Wanderlust as well but they would only be able to attend the first of the three main events of Wanderlust:
- Dance Party and Yoga
My cousins eventually found me and we headed to the start for the 5k.
I said small prayers of thanks throughout the 5k:
- Thank you for my husband and boys
- Thank you for my family
- Thank you for my friends
- Thank you for my career
- Thank you for my abundant life
The music kicked up and the dance party began! Thanks to @SoCalRunnerGal for the rad video!
I literally danced like no one was watching! I let go, shook my booty, and screamed when MC Yogi asked, "Where the moms at?!"
Eventually, the dance party slowed down and transitioned into yoga. We started with Child's Pose, while MC Yogi shared words of affirmation.
Hush little darling, don't you cry
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Don't worry, don't be afraid
Every little thing's gonna be ok
Open up your heart, unlock the cage
Turn the key and break the chains
Love will always find a way
If you want love you gotta give love away
This is when I just stated bawling. First it was just a few tears, then streams of tears. I was one of the hundreds on the rainbow of yoga mats, but I felt alone. I have lots of friends, dozens of family, but at times I feel alone. I am alone in my feelings of not being good enough, pretty enough, patient enough, loving enough, or smart enough. But I reminded myself that I was enough. Everything I give is enough and that was OK. I recalled my prayers from earlier in the day and reminded myself of the many things to be thankful for. My life is more than enough, it is abundant and wonderful.
The hour and a half of yoga and meditation was energizing. Soaking in the sun's rays with the cool breeze were the perfect elements to complete my yoga flow!
I rediscovered lots about myself during my Mother's Day morning at Wanderlust. I hope this begins a tradition to dedicate a little bit of Mother's Day each year for myself, by myself to reflect on being a mother. I need to remember that as long as I open my heart with the love for God, love for myself, and love for others, everything will be OK.
After my wonderful morning at Wanderlust, I came home to a delicious lunch prepared by hubby and my boys! They included all my faves: steak, lobster, roasted brussels sprouts with bacon, mushroom risotto, and chocolate covered strawberries. Seeing their hard work into preparing my favorites eats made my heart happy.
It was truly an awesome Mother's Day!